Anger

I sincerely hate cleaning the kitchen. I cook, clean, then cook again, then clean again. Then with any extra snacking ,there is more dishes. And though its been a little better  recently, I feel so overwhelmed when absolutely nothing gets done.

And I know it is not the only thing that defines creighton and what he does for us, but it is something that is triggering for me. He has done a lot to help today. The emotions I feel are so intense that they kind of just take over all the other feelings. And he started to lose his temper. I didn't take it out on him, just because he felt it does not mean I took out my frustrations on him. They stopped at my lips.

The other thing is, I have just been feeling overhwhelmed in general. It feels like my body container is overflowing with emotions and they keep piling on as I don't get the self-care that I need and want. The onlt times I do technically get a break is when I am working and that is totally different than getting a break. He had a great idea of giving me a break the other day, but that didn't happen. The timing didn't work out.

I feel so irritated right now. Just with life. I desperately need more self-care. desperately. To be able to function and for my sanity. I need to figure out what me things I can do that help me feel alive. Like the real me. Something FUN.