On Sunday, I was so hurt and so angry with Creighton. We both felt hurt and broken. He tried talking it out and sorting it out with me in the morning. I wasnt in a good place. I recognize looking back, that I did what he has done to me in the past. Gaslit me, and I did that to him after church on Sunday. I took his efforts and caused him to feel worthless and all the effort he did do as completely worthless. While I do beleive he was in a teenage state of pity, and shut down mode, I kicked him to the curb when he was down and hurting. I'm sorry. That one was on me. Yes I was hurting, but that doesnt make how I talked to him at his lowest right. I liked the Creighton who had drive better. Because he was showing up. Yes, I need to be able to bring up fears and concerns, and I also need to recognize what he is doing. And praise it. I regret tearing him down like I did. In the grand scheme of things and at the end of my life, would I regret not supporting him? Would I wish I didn't make such a big deal out of it? Proabably.
Here is the wisdom I've gained. Build him up, and schedule a time to talk about the hard, but even in the hard, praise him for what he is doing. I can be angry and hurt and recognise and state how he is doing a good job. I was focused on the past and I nee to process it enough to let him know the future isn't the past. I'm grateful for this lesson because I don't want to do what I did again.
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