Perseverence and healing requires taking small steps up when I have gone down a spiral. I am still taking steps up, but I am not yet fully recovered. This may take months. This is not the biggest thing, but the next thing I'd like to address is being more of a team in the small things. Not just telling the kids to clean up, but me and creighton really working together to accomplish things when we are home. That includes the kitchen. I feel like I need to stay up late to clean because 1) I like waking up to a clean house and 2) I would feel more unified. I have money anxieties coming up. We need to budget, but it seems we only pray about it, and I don't think anything changes when we only pray about it. We need to actually take action steps and track. We don't have any excuses.
I really want to beleive in myself that I can find students for foot zoning, because it feels like I need that to establish a consisitent income, and then I can do what my soul is wanting, which is some combo of pregnancy, fitness, birth, labor, pp healing, and emotional and mental health. It seems like a lot lumped together, but it really does make sense. I just know I want to focus on teaching now. And I had a hard time accepting money. What the feeling is that really causes me to doubt is that I just don't have the capability of find them. And doesit really make a difference. I have to beleive it does because clients keep coming back. But i don't have faith in MY ability to be seen and raelly accomplish this goal.
Julie is doing another trip in October, and I want to go. But there's this little part of me, "Do I want to go? Can I be myself and feel comfortable and confident in who I really am?
The house is a mess. I can't keep up. The laundry is what really gets cloggged up. And how are going to e able to do the yard when we honestly don't have the money? I know I am in scarcity mindset. Evidence keep proving that we aren't going to be able to do it.
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