This is something I never in my life wanted to experience. I watched my dad growing up working on patients. And My gums ached watching him. Kind of like the front gums ache now. The question is, why am I SOO fearful of the root canal I NOW know my tooth needs???
I don't want a root canal because it takes so darn long. At least that's my perception. the needle. THE needle. The vulnerability dentistry requires. I mean. I did what I felt was the best things to help my teeth this year. but I guess I was wrong, or The wrong person worked on my 2 cavities that got fixed. I loved going to the dentist for years, because all I needed was a teeth cleaning. Blast spring, I had a tooth filled and a metal filling changed. I don't know what's worse, keeping the metal filling or changing it out. But now I know for sure that fixing the filling a month ago caused me to need a root canal! I thought i was making a good decision to take good care of my teeth. SO... I feel frustrated! ANd angry. And I am angry and upset with creighton on top of it. I feel freaking alone and isolated. The last 3 days have been hell. mostly the last 2 days.
And it feels so inconvenient. 1 hour there, 2 hours to work on my tooth, and 1 hours home. 4 hours. 4 precious hours. I could have had this done Saturday, but the amount of emotional toxic stress I was under, I couldn't do it. The amount of disbelief I had also contributed to that. plus the fact that my dad said, "damn it you are so stubborn, just like bonnie". And when I pushed the needle away, I didn't mean to but he got upset and threw it.
Lets just add, its been hell at home too. I felt so isolated with the physical pain, the emotional pain, and the aloneness because of Creighon's responses. Ugh. Its been awful. I don't feel peace with getting it, but now I know I need it. WHy am I lacking so much peace?
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