So I was lead to call on a friend to better understand the patterns I've experienced in my marriage. I've felt so crazy and psychotic. ANd unloved and misunderstood. So I called Nikki Lemon, who has had 2 marriages and experienced so much! And now is in a much healthier relationship .
She helped me understand that we are in an abusive pattern around conflict. Some of it has been on my end- like I have put blame on Creighton at times and yelled and swore. And he has also played a really big role in this pattern. It makes sense why Ive felt so unconfident and insecure and unsure of myself. But now that I have this understanding, like a clear understanding- Its something I can no longer allow to happen to me and I can no longer do the behaviors that contribute to it. If it can't change, or he won't, and I am changing- that is when this marriage can no longer continue. I am also starting therapy. So I am hoping that will also help. We will see how I like this lady tomorrow.
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