Have you every felt like the world, or your world was crashing down on you? That's how it feels at the moment. Creighton is not super able to be there for me right now. He's got his own struggles, and me- I feel like I am crumbling. My heart is crumbling. And I want to stop. I want to stop all the things. But it feels difficult because of the debts I am paying off. I guess you could say I am in burnout. 

I am very triggered by C, which doesn't help. And I'm starting a certification where I feel absolutely unqualified for. I am still paying Julie off- I've only got 3 months. But then there's speaker training for C, which I really don't know if he'll really appreciate it... And Then I want to totally restructure my business, and I kind of know how, and I don't have any clue how to do it- And I've got so much fear of my certifcation being a flop. My heart feels torn and unloved. I've been completely exhausted. And any event that is a retreat, I feel guilty about it. 

And I have had 2 reviews stating that they won't be coming back to my home- because of the disruptions with my kids and the dog, even with a babysitter. Something is not working and I don't know the best solution at the moment. What are my next steps? And when can I actually make $ that can benefit my family? I feel very sad. And i hate disappointing people. i want to give a refund back or something. I don't know what to do. 

I wish I had someone to talk to about all this? I can't keep it in, and i won't keep it in.